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| (Photo via mojo4music.com) |
It was the winter of 1991. I was into C+C Music Factory and all kinds of pop music that was popular at the time (including Boyz II Men, PM Dawn, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Heavy D, Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince...and I was still down with Vanilla Ice!). I was at a friend's house for a sleep over, which was the thing to do in grade 8, and my friend JS and I were watching music videos.
Then it happened. It was like someone grabbed me by my hair, raised me off the ground and slapped me in the face until I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I remember hearing the iconic chord progression that opens "Smells Like Teen Spirit". I immediately jumped off the couch and sat no more than 5 feet away from the TV. The music was so different and raw. I never heard anything like it before. The visuals blew me away. Where the hell is that school? Can I go to that school? Can that band play at my school??!!! The kids standing in the bleachers were going nuts! The drummer's hair was flying everywhere! I was in a serious state of shock and awe. As I watched this video, I didn't realize how this band would change the course of my personal musical journey. Nirvana pushed me to that fork in the road, and I chose the path less "poppy".
Since Napster was years away and iTunes was a distant thought, my broke ass had to find a way to get this album. I borrowed the CD from a friend and dubbed it to a tape. I listened to it non-stop all winter. The use of light and shade is a trademark of the Nirvana sound. A soft verse followed by an intense chorus. Cobain brilliantly wrote these dynamic songs with what seemed like the greatest of ease. The songs are simple but powerful. Grohl brought such intensity and precision to these songs behind his drum kit. If you told me back then that Dave Grohl would rise from the ashes of Nirvana to become one of the biggest pop-rock stars on the planet, I would've laughed in your face. Lastly, Krist Novoselic rounded out the team with his steady playing and odd humor, which was seen in countless interviews.
I was inspired to learn how to play guitar thanks to Kurt and Nivana. Surprisingly, the first song that I tried to learn was "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. No easy feat to say the least. A few weeks after I bought that sheet music, my neighbor showed me the most wonderful thing in the world: power chords. By the end of that weekend, I taught myself every Nirvana song from Nevermind. This again demonstrates the power of Cobain's art: anybody can play his songs, but the compositions remain powerful. It would be cool if I told you that after I formed a band with my neighbours, we became successful and toured the country. But that certainly isn't the case. Our faithful audience were the basement walls (God bless Cathy and Clark for letting us jam so loudly in their house!) and we played the shit out of those Nirvana songs...over and over and over again. It was so satisfying to play those songs from beginning to end.
Kurt was the definition of a tragic hero. He was revered by everyone globally but battled internal and external demons (specifically Courtney Love). I have absolutely no love for Love. I won't get into this because I can write about it for days. I will say this: Kurt was weary of individuals who wanted to take advantage of him. She masterfully was able to do that and disguised it with love. His addiction to heroin was highly publicized and eventually led to his downward spiral. It must've been hard to battle all these forces that were dragging him down on a daily basis. He gave us what he could, despite himself.
So Kurt on this day, the 17th anniversary of your early exit from this reality, I thank you for what you've helped me realize. You showed me that imperfection is perfection. Simplicity is king. And fame can be a destroyer. We all know that you didn't like the spotlight or adoration, but your talent would not let you keep it to yourself. And the world is thankful for that.
-Paqman
AMEN
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've ever seen it so eloquently put Paqman:
"He gave us what he could, despite himself."
That's it, isn't it?
Although I was 'alternative' back then, like you, his music and the sound he raised from obscurity, flipped on its head what we heard on the radio on a daily basis, altered me as a person, and made me who I am...
I walked around for a week with a black arm band after his death.
But with him, a sound died, a movement died. As Hunter S. Thompson put it: "We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave... less than five years later.. you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back"
... from that point in time when he died, Counting Crows and Creed were called grunge and 'edgy', Sound Garden became shyte, and I became interested in shoe-gazer (still am!) because with Kurt, that music lost its pain, lost its soul. When Kurt died, the wave broke, and receded.
Also very eloquently put!LOVE the quote!
ReplyDeleteIs this what Don McLean was signing about years ago in "American Pie"? For alot of us, that was the day the music died...well the whole grunge movement anyways!
Awesome write-up. I never knew too much about the relationship with Love, except for her side of the story, after the fact. I have to admit, I regarded here with a suspicious eye, much the same as when Robin Givens was instrumental in the demise of Mike Tyson. Perhaps not the most fitting analogy, but certainly both Kurt and Mike had/have their vulnerabilities and were ever-ripe to be manipulated by people who were so inclined. A tragic story, but thanks for providing some positive insights with which to remember him, R.I.P.
ReplyDeleteThanks!! Glad you enjoyed the post!
ReplyDeleteIf you are looking for more insight on the Cobain murder, check out http://cobaincase.com/
This is a website by a PI named Tom Grant who was actually hired by Courtney Love to find Cobain after he disappeared from the rehab clinic, before he died. A very interesting perspective on the whole chain of events.